He shakes my hand, thanks me for an excellent presentation, and states that he will definitely invest in the product I had just pitched. My jaw is ready to hit the floor, but I restrain my surprise and excitement. Instead, I say thank you with a polite smile.
It’s unusual for people to endorse your pitch so directly, but that alone isn’t why I’m so taken aback. It’s because of who this person is and what I’d been grappling with during the presentation.
The event was a roundtable with six or seven people in the audience. Two people stood out. One exuded positive energy, with body language showing not just engagement but enthusiasm. The other, the one who later came to me, had a poker face. I couldn’t tell if he found my presentation interesting at all. Throughout my presentation, I was thinking that maybe my message is landing with the person showing enthusiasm and perhaps not working for the person with the stern face.
I later learned the highly enthusiastic person wasn’t a serious investor—but was just there for fun.
This was a powerful reminder to never fall into the trap of focusing on one person at the expense of others. As public speakers, we naturally gravitate toward friendly faces—someone smiling or laughing at our jokes—to calm our nerves. But this can come at the cost of ignoring someone with a less expressive demeanour who may be deeply engaged.
Everyone expresses interest and reactions differently. To truly connect, we must speak to everyone in our audience. Here are three tips to ensure you do:
- Talk to people individually. Think of public speaking as a series of individual conversations. This mental trick can ease nervousness. Instead of addressing the whole crowd at once, treat it as speaking to one person at a time. Say something to one individual, finish your point, then move to the next. This way, everyone feels you’ve spoken to them personally.
- Make deliberate eye contact. Public speaking is the opposite of riding the London Underground, where avoiding eye contact is an unwritten rule. In a speaking setting, look directly into people’s eyes, just as you would in a one-on-one conversation. Avoid the tendency to scan the room aimlessly—connect with individuals through your gaze.
- Reach everyone. Don’t focus solely on one person. In small groups, it’s easy to engage everyone. For larger groups, hold individual conversations with people in different parts of the room. In very large crowds, orient yourself to different sections to simulate the feeling of personal connection. Spread your attention to include as many people as possible.
When you connect with everyone, you ensure that no one feels left out—not even the person with a poker face who may become your most enthusiastic supporter. Just as I learned at that roundtable, appearances can be deceptive. Don’t let surface impressions dictate your focus. Speak to everyone, and you’ll leave a lasting, positive impression.